BEAUTIFUL IN ALL SEASONS

  For    14 years, I refused to accept my diagnosis as chronic because I was running from feelings of defeat. Accepting that I would struggle for life felt wrong to me. I believed it was my responsibility to seek an alternative way to experience life. It was as if I heard the doctors say, "You have rheumatoid arthritis, which may be a chronic illness." For years, I lived in a state of denial, desperately wishing for the diagnosis to offer me a choice: to accept it or not. Now, after all this time, acceptance brings a flood of tears, leaving my face wet and my heart heavy. I feel as though I have exhausted all my solutions. Perhaps I was naive, as being young and new to this made it impossible to fully accept my experience. I feel broken, and for so long, I’ve wanted to fix myself, yet I struggle to see my own success. I’ve been hoping for a miracle, but that hope can also be painful. What if I am reaching for a miracle, but it’s not reaching back? What if we are truly not...

Free and victorious Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” We are free from:   - Oppression by the enemy,   - Destruction from Satan,   - Deception by Satan,   - Being controlled and used by the enemy,   - The lies of the enemy.   Romans 8:37 "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."   We are successful in:   - Our walk with God,   - Hearing God,   - Following the instructions of God and obeying Him,   - Aligning with the will, plan, and purpose of God according to His will as we devote ourselves to scriptures,   - Loving the things God loves and hating the things God hates.   We experience victory in:   - Following God,   - Living a life written in heaven for the number of our days on earth....

Dear Diary, I’ve been sick for the past 13 years.  I've been through hell, and there were times when I just wanted to die to find some peace. My whole high school and university experience was awful; I just pretended to cope. I never thought I could face something worse, but this year has been painfully challenging. I’m tired all the time, my body aches constantly, and my hip is just so sore—especially at night. During the last week of 2023, I fasted for health in the new year, and God responded with a vision, giving me Proverbs 3:5-6. Now, I find myself unsure of what to ask for this last month of 2023. Maybe I should just go with the flow and see what He has in store. I’m still trusting that He’ll show up as promised, especially regarding my operation and healing. Above and beyond the Lord’s Prayer is what I’m holding onto.  Ps: medication sucks, and I hate the attention and the questions I get from people noticing i use a walking aid. Sometimes I just want to not be noticed...