Showing up = one of the responsibilities
Hey friend, welcome! You are about to walk with me for a few minutes as i update you about whats been happening in my life. Bought myself a crib, which I've been living in for 7 months NOW!๐Its been beautiful living alone. I love the maintained cleanliness (leave it there, find it there, don't blame me i lived in a commune before); i also appreciate the peace and the warmth๐๐. You know that sense of belonging? yes you do! Its really been amazing. However, i need to stress this enough: living alone made "the" adult hood real, especially when it comes to being responsible and facing it all. Its happening in this department of growth, no fantasies. Its hectic you guys, because not everything runs smoothly.The emotions and their fluctuations, i don't remember how many times i said the words "SHOOT ME" as i face a challenge after dealing with one.๐ ๐ญ But, we still show up because its what we do. Truthfully, lately i just do it because am a young adult, am not a teenager no more, i have responsibilities, just as showing up is one of the many.
Resting time = time to listen to myself
Damn, i don't want to depress you my friend, but am keeping it transparent because a problem shared is a problem half solved. I have rheumatoid arthritis, had it from my early high school career. High school was painful, funny part is i still showed up even on my dying days. Seems like i valued responsibility from when i was a baby. I am sick again, really sick. My illness is chronic, meaning i am always sick but when i say it trust me its really bad. Been crying lately, right when i just finished washing dishes, cooking and everything; I find myself crying during my resting time. It happens while am watching movies on Netflix... You know this week i tell myself "not tonight", but night time is when there's no motion and i feel, intensely, the agony is louder. I guess resting time is time to listen to myself and self is soul, self is body, self is spirit. I pray for strength, i yearn for rest, i long for the days and nights with no destruction in/on me. I cry while i believe, i don't cry because i lost faith. I cry because i acknowledge my pain, its in me, i feel it. But i have hope, better day are coming. Good news๐: minimum faith required is the size of a mustard seed.๐
Everyday i win because everyday i show up.
Life is a gift and God walks with me.
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