Oh, my God! Where do I begin? Let's start with why I feel this way. Naturally, I pour myself into everything I do. From work, family and friendships, I pour myself whole heartedly❣️That's fulfilling for me.๐ค
However, currently I don't want to extend myself, that's what my body is asking from me. That I just be in touch with myself and do just enough. I feel like am struggling right now.
My health has been really challenging me. RA has just been hitting me hard. ๐ฅบ I usually fight, I am usually positive, I am usually strong ๐ช๐ฝ.
Yesterday I was frustrated because It was really bad, and I was too drained. I cried and entertained death thoughts ๐ญ. I also told God: I am feeling weak. I call Him father ...
I felt weak because my thoughts were the opposite of everything I stand for; hope, positivity, joy, peace. I had silenced joy and peace.
This morning I woke up calm. I usually got me, I can handle myself. but I think it's alright to give in and just listen to what my body is asking for right now.
I will be alright again. Emotions are not a problem they are just indicators. I don't want to be strong right now, I don't want to quickly move away from the difficult emotions and rob my heart and mind of the healing process. If I need to be sad I'll be sad, if I need to cry I'll cry and if hope peeks in to just check on me, I will let it.๐งก Taking time to heal is embarking on a journey that will bring me back home to my loves (positivity, joy, peace and hope). For now I'll just hold on to love. Loving on me.
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